So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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