Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
