that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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