Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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