just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
