the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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