brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im holly from the hills drunk
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
