I'm gonna have a badass scar
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
