Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
