morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
