How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
