Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
