she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
