He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
