morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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