I can text with my tongue
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have post one night stand depression
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize