Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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