Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
