Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
