his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
