i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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