My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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