i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're a waste of cheezeits
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
