dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
