Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
