guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
