dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
