I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
