i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
