i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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