The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
