i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
