Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
