My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
