Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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