I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
