I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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