i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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