I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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