don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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