y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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