Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm passing your future prison.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize