Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
