ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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