Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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