I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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