this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
