her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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