i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She just used a chaser for red wine.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
