Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
