i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
