she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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