lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
