Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Say something about gay babies.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
