How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
