Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize