Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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(408): View more from California

we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.

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(559): View more from California

His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!

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