Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
