i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
