Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
COCAINE IS GR8
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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