there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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