Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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