okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
