As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
