...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
