Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
