I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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