You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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